Thursday, February 19, 2015

How To Get Through A Breakup: With Help From The Gilmore Girls

Dear Diary,


I have been going through some tough stuff these past few years. I have had a breakup or two...some things have made me really sit back and think about who I am. 

Maybe some of my readers may have gone or going through a breakup right now. This may relate to a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even a best friend. 

Here are a few tips to get through this hard time:

1.) Wallow. || Forget what everyone says about trying to "forget" your significant other right off the bad. I'm not sure of your specific situation, but I know it is hard each time. Eat ice cream, watch The Notebook three times in a row, order pizza for four and eat all by yourself. Spend that first day/night pitying yourself, use an entire box of tissues for your tears. It is O.K. Just don't wallow for too long. A day or two is as much as you need. Please, don't prolong this part. 


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2.) Get rid of their stuff. || A gift they gave you, their seater, scarf, etc., needs to go. Maybe give it all back to them, or even keep all the items in a box and keep it in the back of your closet for a rainy day. You don't need their stuff in your life anymore. This is an extremely hard part. I'm sorry that I can't make it easier, but I can promise you that you will get through this. Be strong.


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3.) Delete their texts/voicemails/photos. || I have to admit that this was probably one of the worst things I went through with my breakup. I loved reading through our old cute texts, and listening to his voice any chance I got. But the photos are where it hits you. Try saving the photos are computer in a file that is password locked. Or maybe print them out and put them in your box of their things. Just keep them somewhere that you can't easily access. You can't keep remembering the good times, and blocking the bad.


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4.) Think it all through. || You broke up for a reason. Maybe you were the one to break it off...it that case, don't second guess yourself. Really think through the reasons of the breakup and remind yourself to keep strong. There is a reason for everything, even if that is not clear at this time. If you were the one broken up with, I feel for you. It's hard. It may be a bit more difficult to realize the reasons you broke up. Try talking to your ex if you can. Remember the good AND don't leave out the bad.


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5.) Don't go crazy. || Please, please, please do NOT, under any circumstances, call your significant other eight times in a row, leaving messages reminding them of how much you love them-only to turn in to angry cries (i.e. "Why did you break up with me?!"). You're used to talking on the daily, texting, FaceTime, voice calls, Skype, whatever. I know. It is the hardest thing to go from talking 24/7 to zip, zero, nothing at all. But give it time. Wait at least three days after the breakup to reach out. Ask them how they are, but do NOT cry and beg for them to change their minds and take you back. Be strong, you have got this.


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6.) Move on. || Go out with your friends. Meet new people. I'm not saying find another person to replace them. Rebounds are almost never the best idea. Just get out of your room. Live your life. Smile, laugh, dance. You'll feel so much better. 


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I hope this helps those of you who need it. This can apply to both friends and significant others, so please take these to heart. 

What do you do when you're going through a tough time?


Until next time,

Eliza Grace

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